As promised, the Reader from the Alberta Writers Guild has returned my manuscript, or should I say the first third. I must admit to being in a turmoiled state ever since. There were positive things, like; "I enjoyed reading this portion of your longer manuscript." and "Generally speaking, you write well. You have a sense of story, setting, character and pace." also "I hope to someday pull a book from the shelves in some bookstore or library and meet Mac and Loud Macleod in its pages."
This was nice to hear. As Mac would say, "An artist likes to know his work is appreciated." The reader also helped me to find the genre for this story. Contemporary Fantasy or Magic Realism is where "..."magic" intrudes or comes into context of a modern, known world." Although my story is fiction, it is not a made up world, built from scratch. It is our modern world where these events take place.
Of course, along with the complements came the meat of the report. I must say that many of the...problems, I was already aware of and realised changes/improvements were needed. Maybe it was reassuring to have picked these out before the professional. One of the obvious was spelling and punctuation. I was instructed not to trust spell check and I don't entirely. With more words than War and Peace, one is always going to miss something. The Reader was concerned about "rules" as well and recommended the book Prentice Hall Handbook for Writers. I looked it up on Amazon and it is a $100 book!
My main problem is the Reader's concern over perspective or point of view. While most of the writing is limited omniscient, only from the point of view of the main character, I have slipped "into the head" of my other characters from time to time and sometimes for only a line. The Reader feels I would have a "stronger story that relies on more showing and less telling". To be honest, the Reader may be right. It seems to me that it would be easier to go through the story and work out a way to show the other character's feelings than to change the view point to omniscient, and be in everyone's head all the time.
There are a few issues the Reader brought up, some actions by the characters the Reader found incredulous but my other major concern is the pace. The Reader thought scenes should be dropped to tighten up the story, keep the tension, to retain the reader's interest. Yes, there are things that maybe are vital to the telling, but...
In a book like The Hunger Games, at least the first book, it takes place in the time frame of a week or two. Many other stories have a set time limit. On the other hand, LOTR and the new version by George R.R. Martin, spreads months perhaps a year into seven volumes. I guess Heathen Hearts originally was a history. Mac Macleod is missing three years of his life. Anja, Gette, and their children are trying to fill in the missing years for Mac in about three weeks. A lot can happen in that time and while not all of it may seem pertinent to the main story, it shows that up to a point, Mac and others thought they were just ordinary people, with ordinary talents, trying to make a living in the music world. That is why, as the Reader puts it, "...you back off and seem to underplay the supernatural,...Your hints are too subtle to be convincing." My story and Emma Bull's War for the Oaks are two different stories despite any surface similarities. I'm sure she has her reasons for her pace as well.
I'll wrap this up by saying that I have a lot to think about. I appreciate the Reader's input and I am already taking it into consideration which was the whole point of the exercise. the Reader warned I would get emotional and that I should step back and think about the advice and the story before getting back at revisions etc. That is what I am doing now. Even writing this blog has made me think about what I could do to improve the product. I have had so other thoughts about the story and where it came from but I'll leave that for another day.
